Why do some people fear change so much? Some of my past clients have shared that change is a risk. What type of risk? The risk of failure. If you try to change and it goes awry then you have failed to achieve your goals. This can then lead to loss of hope which can lead to severe depression. Thus, for some it is far easier to stay on they path of "least resistance" then travel the other one; you know the one less traveled. So some people remain stuck for awhile until they come to a point where they either change something in their lives or take a chance on losing family, friends, or even their lives. This might sound extreme but really for some change is so frightening that the mere thought of it can bring on panic.
In regards to myself, one might think that because I have OCD I would be one of those individuals who shudder at the thought of change. Honestly, no so much. I have come to the conclusion that change really is inevitable one way or another (I know no shit, right?). I think the most challenging change I have experienced in my life is from being a couple with a child to a single parent. It was comfortable living with someone even though the relationship was not necessarily healthy. Sure I told myself that I was staying in the relationship for my daughter or for financial reasons but in reality I was just scared of the change in lifestyle. Initially it was a difficult adjustment for all of us. My daughter had to get used to moving from mom one weekend and dad the other. I had to get used to living on my own and learning to live with myself. Sure there was a brief period of time I felt panicked but I just kept on going. I tried to focus on being there for my daughter so she can grow up feeling loved even if her parents were no longer together. I did end up putting my personal life on hold for awhile but since I have my daughter, my animals, and a career I love I made it through that time of change.
The next major change I anticipate in my life is when my daughter goes to college in a couple of years. You know that old empty nest syndrome. It's coming for me. Am I scared? Sure, a little. I have spent the past 8 years as a single parent so yeah it frightens me a bit. So the way I see it I have to start making smaller changes so I can better manage the larger change. I, of course, am not taking into account at this juncture any unknown occurrences that might happen along the way. To start I have made a decision to try and get my financial situation in order. You know, such as the student loan, old debts I have ignored due to buying food and gas, and possibly put a small amount in savings. I am starting a new position next week (still a therapist). The pay is better and it is closer to home so less gas expenditures. Today was my last day at my previous position. It was difficult. I worked there for almost four years and have made some close friends with my co workers. It was also difficult to say good bye to my clients. In the position I worked I spend 6 hrs a day 5 days a week with the clients. You tend to establish strong rapport that way. The days were often long but they were never dull. I was honestly touched by how appreciative and thoughtful they were when the day finally ended and it was time for goodbye.
